


Without You

by Payton_coconutsharks



Category: Casper Lee, Conor Maynard - Fandom, Jack Maynard - Fandom, Joe Sugg - Fandom, Oli White - Fandom, josh pieters - Fandom, mikey pearce - Fandom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-12-01 21:17:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11494932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Payton_coconutsharks/pseuds/Payton_coconutsharks
Summary: Jack Maynard hates his life. He has always been his brothers shadow, he's gay, his parents are dead..... So many thing have happened. Can the boys help him? Will he lose the war in his mind? Will he just give up? Who knows, and maybe his relationship with one of the boys will become more.........





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Without You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9181456) by [mollydrew](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mollydrew/pseuds/mollydrew). 



> Ok guys so since I decided to dis-continue my joshler fanfic I'm starting a new one about Jack Maynard, Conor Maynard, Joe Sugg, Caspar Lee, etc. i am continuing this story that someone else started since they didn't finish it and i really like it. they made the first chapter but after that the work is my writing. I hope you guys like this fanfic and as always leave suggestion for new fanfics or ideas about this one, thanks guys and smile a little, its good for you <3

"He kicked you out? What do you mean he kicked you out?" Conor raised his voice as he spoke down the phone. It was late and he'd been woken by the ear splitting vibrations coming from his drawer and the bright blurry screen stung his swollen eyes.  
They'd been on the phone for half and hour and Joe's heavy, spaced out breathing hadn't calmed down. You could Joe had been crying, you could tell by his croaky, broken voice and the sniffles he repeated to make. "Look, ah, you can stay with me if you need a place to stay, i'm not having you strung on the streets, no way!" Conor spoke with a calming voice to try and ease Joe's state. It had been 3 months since Caspar's passing, Joe was still coping just as badly as he did when he first found out. He'd barely eaten, his body was weak and he had barely left the pub. The only things he managed to consume was alcohol. Lots of alcohol. His temper had grown more aggressive and he'd rarely speak to his friends any more. They'd have to ring him if they need him, and even then it was a rare chance of them getting an actual answer. He was letting his life grow into nothing, but he couldn't see himself living, breathing air without Caspar being by his side.  
Jack hardly paid any attention, after all it was late and he'd only just got into bed. On hearing Conor say they could stay at his, jacks ears pricked up.  
surely he should get a say? he lived here too, even if he'd only just come back into Conor's life.  
he heard josh stumble from his bed and into the living room, joining Conor.  
"what is it now" josh whispered loudly.  
jack smiled knowing that josh would most likely say no to joe living with them.  
"It's joe, graham has kicked him out" Conor said loudly, sensibly he had covered the mic on the phone as he spoke directly to his housemate and very close friend.  
Joe.  
Jack frowned, he had heard the name a few times before, but actually seen joe even less. He was Conor's best mate and  
had virtually become invisible since jack had come back to London after bumping into Conor quite suddenly after coming off of a high.  
this wasn't exactly how he'd imagined his life to be at 22, but he'd got clean- he was practically forced to- he couldn't exactly start snorting in Conor's front room. His life was completely different now, he had a stable job, thanks to Conor and josh a home, and well- he just wasn't joe.  
He didn't know enough about joes life to judge him, apart from the fact that Conor and josh loved him enough to look past his volatile demeanour. He'd seen the face only a few times, always completely off his face and slurring his words, sitting in his home with josh and a pack of beers.  
jack looked over to Conor, and he could sense the fear and worry in his face, Conor didn't even have to speak.  
after the fourth occurrence of this- jack confronted his sibling- wondering what was wrong with joe.  
it turned out he was messed up. fucked up.  
Jack had missed the part where his boyfriend was in a car accident and joe had to make the decision to turn off his life support. He'd missed all that and was now witnessing joe at his lowest- but jack couldn't help but think what would of been worse to see.  
   
Jack hadn't seen joe for weeks but from what he was hearing- he was just on a continuous downward spiral of self destruction. Jack had heard something a few days ago about joe getting so drunk that he'd smashed up his room so he guessed that's why he'd been kicked out. He couldn't feel sorry for him, he didn't know him enough to feel anything other than a slight dislike...he wanted to keep that distance as there was no way he wanted to be carrying the worry that josh and Conor both shared for joe.  
"yeah no- look you come and stay with me alright" Conor said  
woah no. That caused jack to move closer to the door.  
"Conor, is this really the best idea?" Josh questioned, good ol josh pointing out the cracks in the plan, jack smiled slightly at this, yet he was now standing with the door half open.  
"Yeah look I'll-we'll see you later okay, alright mate bye" Conor hastily hung up the phone.  
"Well thanks for letting me have a say" josh said rolling his eyes " and what about jack"  
Jack smiled.  
"Doesn't he get a say?"  
Jack didn't see why he wouldn't, after all he paid rent, he cooked sometimes and he did most of the cleaning.  
"Josh it's our house- he's just our lodger" Conor replied  
that was it. Jack flung open the door and raced down the stairs to face Conor and josh.  
"Yeah he should get a say actually" jack said clearly annoyed  
"My mate crashing on MY sofa for a few days has nothing to do with you" Conor continued  
Jack rolled his eyes " well it does if he's unstable"  
"UNSTABLE" Conor yelled " he isn't unstable he's grieving"  
Jack shook his head " I get that Conor, trust me I really do, but he can't just go around smashing things up just because he's having a rough time of it" instantly regretting the way he was taking about it  
Conor shook his head " well the next time you have to turn of your boyfriends life support, I'll make sure that I monitor your upset and I'll be this understanding"  
Jack was seething. He exited the room and went back to bed.  
hours had passed and jack still hadn't slept, the constant thought of his own last struggles overpowering his mind.  
At around 3am he heard the front door slam shut. Joe had arrived. Of course he was intrigued. He hadn't seen the guy for a while. He tried to ignore the sound of the guest moving around downstairs but something kept telling him he should go and check on him.  
Quietly he opened his bedroom door and crept down the stairs.  
as he was about to enter the living room, he saw joe, curled up on the sofa, a pack of beers on the table, but he was crying.  
that got jack. He felt somewhat sympathetic for joe. WHY. he knew he shouldn't feel like that, but he couldn't help it.  
suddenly he felt joes eyes on him.  
"Getting a good look at the freak show are we" joe spat, the drink taking over his body.  
"What- erm no- I just came to get a drink" jack said quickly, his words jumbling. He pulled the door shut and ran back upstairs.  
As soon as he reached his bed, he completely broke down and pulled his knees to his chest and cried himself to sleep.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> joe finds himself getting weaker and weaker, drowning his tears in alchohol. When Conor takes him in, he can't seem to get on with his brother Jack. But then something changes and jack and joes worlds gets a little brighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you guys like this story and as always give me suggestions for new story's and let me know if your enjoying this one and its up to you if you want me to make a new one or continue this one. thanks guys and smile a little, its good for you❤

The next morning jack wakes up first at 6. he doesn't normally get up that early but he did today. His throat hurt a bit from crying last night so he went to get water, just remembering about joe. And for some reason he wanted to make sure he was ok this morning. Jack slowly creeps down the hallway and then the stairs and makes his way into the living room, where he sees joe sitting on the couch with a small pocket knife. He was just twirling it on his finger, then he pressed down a little bit and slid it across his wrist and a faint line of blood appeared on joes wrist. Even though it was only a small bit of blood due to him not pushing the knife down that hard, it still made jacks heart race a bit. _Why am i worried about him? i  don't even know him..._ And without thinking jack just walked over and sat down next to him. _What the bloody hell am i doing?!_ jack though to himself.

"Hey..." jack says. Joe quickly snaps the blade back in and puts it in his pocket and hides his wrist which is now bleeding pretty bad.

"I...." joe says, looking almost... scared.

"Hey, don't worry i wont tell." jack says.

"Why are you being nice to me." Joe spats back. And conor is standing at the bottom of the stairs, as he just woke up.

"Because i know what your going through." jack says surprised at his own words. Conor, standing back just listening to them is equally as surprised.

"Did you have to turn off the love of your lifes life support." Joe Spats back rudely.

"No. Actually ive never even been "in love". i don't even know if i believe in love, but i know what its like to feel lost and to feel alone. like you've been thrown into the abyss and there no escape." Joes face frowns. "but, i also know what its like to find your way out."

"Oh yea? Hows that? and how did you go through this?." joe says sassy like.

"Well in my abyss, was drugs, alcohol, violence and the source of it was, i felt abandoned. Me and conor didn't talk, i had no other friends... i was alone and disregarded and i wasn't having it, so i fell into the abyss. In your abyss, is alcohol and violence and pain. And the source is caspars death."

"you don't know anything about him or me!" Joe says slightly raising his voice.

"But i do joe, that's what I'm trying to tell you! theres a way out, others can pull you out! and if you don't let them then...." A tear drips down jacks face. He quickly swipes it away.

"I have to go..." jack whispers, jumping up from the couch and grabbing his keys. He runs to the door, and runs to his car sobbing now. leaving joe with a worried and confused look on his face. Later once it was dark, jack finds himself in front of a club... _Screw it._ He gets out of his car, shows the bouncers his ID then goes in and orders drinks all night, rotating between Absinthe and Pure Vodka He was drowning his sorrows by drinking and dancing. He hasn't been to a club in a year ever since it happened. Meanwhile back home after jack left.

"You ok man?" conor walks over to joe.

"Yea just... Confused." joe replys.

"Don't worry about him, ill call him." conor tells joe non chalantly.

"ok..." joe turns to play on his phone.

Later that night..............

"Jack I'm really worried about you! Call me back or I'm coming to find you and when i do I'm gonna kick your ass!" conor left a voice mail to jack. "joe ill be back i need to find him."

"Do you want me to come?" joe asks. conor looks back in surprise.

"its fine if hes where i think he is you don't want to see this..." conor says walking out the door.

"Conor?" joe asks as conor looks back. "tell him i haven't drank today." conor looks at him in utter disbelief. then smiles ear to ear.

"I will." conor replys then leaves to find jack. He pulls up in front of the club and shows the bouncers his ID then rushes in to see if his younger brother is here.

"JACK!" conor runs up to his little brother sitting at the bar drinking an absinthe and talking with a pretty girl.

"Hey brooooooooo! conor this is kitty, kitty this is my big bro conor!" jack slurs to his brother.

"were leaving, now." conor yells at jack. conor grabs jacks arm and drags him out. The bouncers stop them though.

"is he bothering you sir?" the one bouncer says to jack.

"Hes my brother and he can't be here." conor looks at the bouncer and the bouncer knows what he means and nods. When the boys get home, Jack slams the door waking up joe.

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING JACK!" conor screams causing joe to jump and turn around to see them arguing in the kitchen behind him.

"WHO CARES I CAN DO WHAT I WANT! jack screams back.

"I CAN'T TRUST YOU TO MAKE DECISIONS ANYMORE! conor yells.

"WHY! BECAUSE I TRIED TO COMMIT SUICIDE AFTER MY BIG BROTHER WHO I LOOKED UP TO CONCIDERED TURNING MY LIFE SUPPORT OFF AFTER I ALMOST DIED IN A CAR CRASH BECAUSE I WAS DRUNK! A YEAR CONOR! A WHOLE YEAR I WAS ON LIFE SUPPORT DYING! AND YOU NEVER CAME TO SEE ME! YOU WERE GOING TO TURN OFF MY LIFE SUPPORT BECAUSE IT WAS HARD ON YOU TO SEE ME LIKE THAT!" At this point jack was sobbing so hard you could hear his heart beating and his breath hitching, and he started pacing back and forth.

"JACK CALM DOWN!" conor grabs jacks arms.

"DONT TOUCH ME!" jack screams as josh runs downstairs.

"WHAT IN THE BLOODY HELLS GOING ON!" josh screams. Jack starts panicking and falls into the island behind him, trying to grab it to keep himself up, he fails and falls, his breath hitching every other second.

"CONOR CALL AN AMBULANCE!" josh screams at him, falling to the ground next to jack, grabbing his arms screaming his name. "CONOR HURRY UP HES HAVING A PANIC ATTACK! YOU KNOW HE HAS BAD ANXIETY!" Josh screams as jack is getting worse by the second now shaking so violently that josh is shaking from having his hands on jack. Joe was still in the living room feeing scared. but not for him but for jack. the ambulance came and collected jack and took him to the hospital. Conor, josh and even joe followed in conors car. they have been in the waiting room for about 25 minutes now.

"excuse me?" a doctor comes out to speak to them. conor stands up. "jack should be fine." the doctor says. conor sighs and sits down again. "your very lucky. if you had not called an ambulance it would be a lot worse, his heart rate was already over what it should be by way to much. another 8-10 minutes and he would need to be on life support. it was silent for a minute.

"Can we see him?" Joe asks. conor and josh look at joe in surprise. he looks back at them. "well, it didn't seem anyone else was gonna ask." Joe said and shrugged his shoulders then looked at the doctor. the doctor told them sure but he will probably be drowsy from sedatives and that they can take him home tomorrow if everything seems fine.

"i need a minute then ill be in." conor said.

"ill wait with him, go on in joe so hes not alone.." josh says moving to where joe sat so hes next to conor.

Joe walks to jacks room and lightly knocks on the wall and peeks his head in. jack looks at him.

"hey.." jack whispers with a small smile.

"hey....." joe says back small smile on his lips to. he pulls up a chair to the side of jacks bed.

"I'm sorry..." jack says to joe, smile long gone, replaced by a frown and a few stray tears dripping down his face.

"why are you sorry?" joe asks concerned.

"because i caused so much trouble and had a bloody panic attack and anxiety attack." jack said crying a little harder now. his chest shaking up and down a bit.

"hey... Hey" joe grabs jacks hand, which was resting over his eyes. "Yea you had a panic attack and anxiety attack but i don't care about it being trouble. you scared me." joe says looking at jack his eyes tearing a bit.

"exactly i scared you..." jack says starting to cry again, and turning his face so joe couldn't see him cry. joe uses his free hand to turn jacks face back.

"i was scared because i didn't know what was going to happen to you..." joe says trying so desperately to hold back the tears threatening to fall, but failed. as a few tears slid down his face. jack chuckles.

"why are you crying?"

"Because your the first person whos been nice to me as a guy whos stuck... in the abyss..."  joe smiles. "with no escape. rather then a guy whos grieving the death of my dead boyfri- err... partner."

"you can say boyfriend. I'm bi." jack says with a small smile. Jack looks at the door way and sees conor. tears fall down jacks face as joe looks over to see conor walk away.

"are you ok?" joe says to jack in a calming whisper tone.

"I just... I feel like i always have to be strong. I'm the rock i stay calm and cool and help others feel better while I'm perfectly fine but lately i feel like I'm dying inside and no one notices and even if they did," jack sarcastically chuckles and sits up. "i have to be strong. i have to... but the thing is," jack looks at joe "i don't wanna be... the other night when i saw you crying on the couch, i thought of me and how i want to be able to cry, how i need to be able to cry for once and have someone to listen and that night i cried myself to sleep like i do almost every night and when i was drinking at that club, i picked pure vodka and absinthe, the strongest drinks they had and when i was drunk i felt so much better... i didn't feel so empty and alone.. and even when I'm with conor or josh or oli or Mikey, it doesn't matter i still feel abandoned, alone.... like I'm isolated by myself in the abyss and the truth is for a while i was pulled out but i slowly made my way through the waters and ended up right back where i started! and i just..." jack was crying really hard now and joe stood up and sat on the edge of the hospital bed and hugged jack. conor was outside the door and heard him and went back to the waiting room. jack and joe just sat there for a few minutes while jack calmed down.

"maybe we can pull each other out of the abyss. you know since you talked to me this morning i haven't had a single sip of alcohol? by now I'm usually on my 3rd case." joe said.

"id like that..." jack said. jack told conor josh and joe they could go home and come get him the next morning but joe insisted on staying the night with him. joe just held jack while he fell asleep so that he wouldn't feel alone. Little did they know he would never feel alone again... The next morning they came to get jack and joe. when they got home jack went upstairs and josh an conor didn't sleep so they went to bed. joe went and bought him and jack smash burger. They just watched supernatural and ate food all day pretty much since jack was still a bit sore and tired. but when jack got better joe has set up a trip for himself and jack to go to Disney land. He figured they could use the get a way. He booked a hotel room for 2 weeks. He hopes that this will help jack because the way he feels about jack.... is the exact same as how he felt for caspar....

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3280 words!


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This depends on you guys.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys its payton and let me know if your liking this story still, I'm having a lot of fun writing it but if you guys want a different story line or different fandom then let me know because it up to you guys. Feel free to give me suggestions for other storys and leave me story prompts to use. thanks guys, and smile a little, its good for you❤

Really quick message please read its important: comment below letting me know if you want a joe and jack relationship or a mikey and jack relationship. I'm making my decision tomorrow morning.

 

 

 

When jack and joe woke, joe told jack about the trip he planned last minute for them. Jack thought it would be a good Idea to get away for a while and clear his head.

"2 HOURS!" jack yelled. "We need to be packed and ready in an hour so we have time to get to the airport!"

"Yes! just throw some clothes in a suitcase a tooth brush deodorant and a hair brush. anything else you need you need we ca get once were there. Now go before you make us late!" joe pushed jack to his closet and laughed.

"Better hurry up baby bro I'm almost done packing!" conor yelled to jack. jack rolled his eyes. Joe and jack decided it would be fun to invite the whole crew along. Josh, Mikey and Oli were on their way over while conor, jack and joe finished packing. The boys just finished packing when Oli, Mikey and josh arrived.

"The A teams here!" mikey shouted when he came in the door.

"mikey, your a whole team by yourself you big oaf!" jack shouted back then heard josh and conor start laughing. jack, joe and conor came downstairs. "guys lets play a game before we leave, we've got time to kill." jack suggested. they agreed. "lets play, how many fake leather jackets did mikey bring?" Jack said then everyone laughed. "josh you guess first."

"2. plus the new one he's wearing." josh says.

"20." conor says laughing.

"7. Oli says pretty sure he got it right.

"12." joe says.

"and I reckon about 4." jack says last. "well mikey, for the big reveal...."

"right so, the one I'm wearing, and 3 others." mikey says laughing.

"mikey you could patch the titanic with those jackets." jack says laughing hysterically.

" your just jealous because I have nice expensive jackets." mikey says snarky back laughing.

"mikey, I'm gonna shove that leather jacket so far up your arse!" jack laughs.

"which one?" josh adds and everyone laughs.

"alright we better get going or we will miss our flight." joe says. once the boys get to the airport they get on the plane. Josh is on the very inside closest to the window, conor is in the middle and joe is on the outside next to the isle. The seats across from them is mikey on the outside, jack in the middle and Oli in the window seat. mikey and jack are messing around just vlogging every once in a while and just talking and rough housing a bit and watching videos. Joe hated to admit it but... he was jealous. Jealous of jack and mikey. he knew mikey was also bi and it was a bit weird seeing them hangout like that. Then one thing especially got to him. jack and mikey were joking around and,

"My fair prince will you do me the honor of accepting this leather jacket as a token of my love for thee." mikey laughs and jack laughs back,

"I shall." Jack said in one of his funny voices, and mikey put the jacket around his shoulders and kissed his hand then they broke out laughing. For some reason this bothered joe. later jack was shivering in his seat since he didn't bring a sweat jacket or anything before they put his luggage away. Mikey took one earbud out, he was editing the vlog for jacks channel because jack didn't want to.

"You alright mate?" mikey said to jack who had one leg pulled up to his chest and was looking at the window.

"Hmm? Yea I'm good." jack replied trying but failing to keep his teeth from chattering.

"Mate your shivering." mikey says in a chuckle.

"little bit I guess..." jack says as his cheeks blush a faint red.

"here." mikey takes off his hoodie which he had previously put on after taking off his leather jacket, revealing a black muscle shirt that exposed all his muscles in just the right ways.

"mikey I'm fine but your hoodie back on." jack said shaking slightly in his words.

"jack I'm not even cold, here," mikey puts the hoodie over jacks head and shoves his arms in it and makes him wear it. "there." mikey says folding his arms and he looks at jack whos trying to have a crossed look on his face but ends up laughing and settling and falling asleep and in his sleep falling on to mikeys shoulder. Mikey just chuckled at him and let him sleep. _He needs it._ mikey thought. Joe was extremely jealous now. He wanted to be the one there for jack. He didn't know why he was becoming so protective of this one boy who he only just met. And for some reason, he felt like he lost caspar all over again...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the short chapter, its my bestfriends birthday and we went to the beach so ill post a long one tomorrow morning. Remember guys vote for which couple you want, mikey and jack or joe and jack. thanks guys and smile a little, its good for you❤


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys so now me and my bestfriend Maggie are writing this story together! ya the one I spent her birthday with so I didn't post? yea I know you all love her! lol anyways a lot goes down In this chapter and we made it supeeeeerrrrr long for you guys so thanks guys and smile a little, its good for you❤

Mikey was stuck to jack like velcro the whole first few days while joe third wheeled like a champ most the trip. Which was fair since mikey had never been. Oli, conor and josh wanted to go to epcot everyday and try a different meal each time and do a different section of the park each day for a bit. The rooms were, Jack mikey and joe shared a room and oli and josh shared a room and the hotel girl was a super fan of connors and gave him his own suite room. When the boys all got to their rooms, the room were named by states and joe, jack and mikeys was called new orleans. Josh and olis was called santa monica and conors was called new york. When the boys got back to the hotel and to there rooms,

“Right then boys, we best be off to bed!” conor says in a funny voice crossing his eyes.

“Right, night lads,” jack says already walking into the room. Josh and oli walk next door into there room and conor heads up the elevator to the suite. 

“Boys theres only 2 beds.” joe said.

“Jack you alright sharing a bed with me mate?” mikey suggests, sitting on the bed closest to the window. 

“Yeah sure.” jack says back walking into the bathroom with pajamas in hand and toothpaste and a toothbrush. Joe sits on the other bed waiting for jack to get out of the bathroom but then he realized jack was showering so he changed in the closet. He put on a pair of sweats and a black loose fitting t-shirt then sat back on the bed. Then jack came out of the bathroom, Soaking wet hair and blue checkered pajama bottoms with no shirt, still half soaking wet. That’s something that always annoyed the other boys, that jack never completely dried off and always got water everywhere. Jack turned off the lights and climbed in the bed next to mikey. Joe jealously fell asleep curling up with his pillow, thinking how cute jack looked with his messy wet hair. Mikey fell asleep shortly after. Jack couldn’t sleep. He felt guilty that his fans didn’t know he was gay. He thought he would feel better if he told them so he got up , grabbed his camera and walked down the hallway to the ice machine, turned on his camera and started filming.

“Good morning everybody, well it’s technically still morning, it’s… 3:13 here and there’s something i need to tell you guys… i’ve felt guilty that i haven’t told you guys and thing have happened recently and i haven’t uploaded last sunday but i should be uploading normally now and i have important news… i don't really know how to tell you guys this but… i recently went on a date… umm…. With a boy… and i felt like i needed to tell you guys this because you guys are a huge part of my life and im always open with you guys so yea..” jacks eyes teared up. “So i don't know what else to say so…. Bye…” jack ended the vlog, posted it and went back to their room. “Mikey! Pstttt! MIkey!” jack jumped on top of mikey, who was laying on his side. “Wake up! “ jack says to him in a whisper. “Get up!” Jack says shaking him. 

“What the bloody hell are you doing jack?!” mikey says. I can’t sleeeeep” jack whines. Jack jumps up and stares at mikey and smirks… “Wanna race up and down the halls and slide ice under peoples doors?” jack smirks.

“Your on!” mikey throws the covers over and jumps up and runs out the door with jack, grabbing the ice bucket on the way out. They decided to have races down the hallways for about an hour and slid ice under peoples doors so it was all wet when they got up. Jack jumped on mikeys back and made him run down the halls pretending he was a unicorn. The boys finally crawled into bed at 4:28. Joe was awake the  whole time they were in the halls laying his bed listening to them. He was really jealous now. Jack fell asleep first, then mikey, joe was still awake and saw the giant water mark from jacks hair on his pillow. He didn’t sleep the rest of the night, just watched jack and mikey. Sometime during the night jack rolled over and put his head on mikeys chest and snuggled up to him. (mind you he was shirtless, had soaking wet hair and it was freezing in there.) Mikey wrapped his arms around jacks waist and pulled him closer in his sleep.  This had joe seething with anger and jealousy. He finally fell asleep for a few hours. He woke mikey ordering room service waffles with ice cream and strawberries for all of them and a very stressed and frustrated looking jack, sitting at the table near the windows looking a mess with his hair everywhere. 

“Jack, i ordered waffles with vanilla ice cream and strawberries.”  mikey said.

“mikey. you. Are. AMAZING!” jack said jumping up and grabbing mikeys face then rushing to the bathroom to shower again, letting his hand slide down the side of mikeys face as he walked away.  Later he got out of the shower and put on a different pair of checkered pjs this time they were red, he had soaking wet hair, the water from it dripping down his face. 

“Jack, why aren’t  you getting dressed as well?” joe asked jack.

“Well the lads are going out drinking at this bar for the next few nights because conor is playing there and i can't go so i’m staying home.” jack said sighing.

“Do u want me to stay here?” joe asks.

“No it's fine to have a good line with the lads. I’ll be good.” jack said sitting back down. The food came and me, jack and mikey ate and then they got ready. Mikey went to meet the boys at reception but joe stayed back to talk to jack for a minute. 

“What was that with you and mikey last night!” joe says raising his voice slightly but not enough that anyone could hear . 

“What are you on about joe! Me and mikey got bored so we decided to go have some fun!” jack said back in a rude tone.

“Well what about when you two were bloody cuddling in bed last night?!” joe says.

“What about it? I was cold and he's one of my friends it’s not that weird!” jack shouts back.

“Well what about you always being so flirty with him Jack! What about us!” joe yelled back quietly.

“Us?!” jack said back “What us?! You never made a move so what if i was flirting with mikey! I’m not your boyfriend! You don't have a say in my life!” jack said and slammed the door. He walked in the room and saw the hate comments on the video…  Joe met their lads down at reception and headed to conors concert at this bar called waterworks. Jak started to think…….  _ I’m not worth it…. I’m a lost cause….. No one cares about me…… i should just die….. At least then conor could be happy and not need to worry about me anymore…  _  He collapsed onto the floor of the hotel room and cried for hours until he fell asleep on the floor. The same routine except for the panic attacks happened for the next few nights before it was time to go home. No one saw jack much since he was in his room most the time and they were at bars and clubs. When they were on the plane it was the seating arrangements and same thing, mikey and jack messing about and joe pouting across from them.  When they got home they all went back to their flat and josh, mikey and oli decided to move in with them since they basically live there anyways. Conor had one more gig at a club that night so all the boys left again. They had been going out for 9 nights straight and jack has declined the offers from the boys to stay with him every time. After the boys had all left jack oped his laptop again and sat on his bed in a pair of purple checkered pajama bottoms and he opened his youtube channel. Like he has been doing the last 9 nights and he went to his coming out video and went to the comment section… 

MollyGirl798:

OMGGGG EWWWWWW HE USED TO BE MY TOATS FAV YOUTUBER NOW HE'S GAY!!!

Brianking22:

I’ve just lost all respect for this guy! Just go and kill yourself already you faggot! 

Everleah_woods:

Wow i always thought he was so hot and awesome now i find out he's just some gay freak! OMG! UNSUBSCRIB_

SAVAGE232:

THIS DUDE IS THE MOST PATHETIC LOSER I HAVE EVER SEEN! AND DID YOU GUYS SEE AT HOW 2:43 HE GOT ALL TEARY! THAT’S SO PATHETIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There were so many hate comments on the video… there were over double what he normally get and yes there were the occasional,

Leviraus88:

Don't worry man, the real fans and suporters are alwats there for you!

And the cliche

Amanda_love4453:

We love you jack don't let the hate get to you!!! <3 <3 <3

Jack laughs sarcastically,

“Screw this…” he throws his computer back and grabs his phone and orders a post mate to go to the liquor store and buy 4 bottles of pure absinthe and 2 bottles of pure vodka…

He gets them from the postmate, heads up to his room and shuts the door and sits on his bed with his back to the door and one leg out straight and one leg bend, criss cross style and his computer in front of his bent leg and bottles of absinthe and vodka around him, reading hate comments and drinking….. drinking……..… drinking………………….. Then he realized he is on the last bit of his last bottle of vodka with no absinthe left. He frowned. He then ordered another postmate to bring him 3 more bottles of absinthe and another bottle of vodka. The postmate just went to a club near him to get it instead of a liquor store. When the postmate got their.

“Hey mate.” joe said to him just making conversation since they were right next to each other.  

“Hey Man.” The guy said in his american accent.

“So what are you up to?” joe asked just friendly, not drunk though. 

“I’m a postmate so i’m delivering 3 bottles of absinthe to this guy…” he checked his phone, “jack maynard, i already delivered him 4 bottles of absinthe and 2 bottles of vodka but i guess he’s having a party.” he said to joe.

“Dammit!” joe shouted and ran out the door and called an uber. Once he was in the uber he texted conor and told him the conversation he just had. He burst through the door, conor and the boys were getting an uber now, it would be 6 minutes the wait said then another 17 minutes to get home.

“JACK!” joe screamed.

“JACK!” joe screamed again running round the house trying to find him. “JACK!” he yelled running into jacks room bursting open the door. Jack turned his head to face joe, 

Joes POV,

Jack turned his head to face me, it all happened so fast but i’ll never forget his face when he turned to looked at me, He had tears streaming down his face and neck falling onto his chest, and just looking in his eyes i could see how hurt he was.  _ How could i not have seen how much pain he was in?! _  I thought and mentally scolded myself but then,

(back to normal POV)

Jack threw his laptop back and he jumped up throwing the empty bottle on the floor it smashing and he tried to storm out of the room when joe grabbed his arm. He was having an anxiety attack when he was reading the hate comments but starting to have a panic attack now…. He thought,  _ Joe knows… he knows! GOD! They weren’t supposed to know…….  _

Jack fell on the floor right outside of the door… 

“Jack!” joe was screaming his name over and over again.

“Jack listen to me you're gonna be fine!” joe was screaming “i'm here! Jack it's fine!” joe yelled to him, jack was now leaning with his back against the wall and joe at his side, holding the side of his face. Jack had his left hand on the floor holding himself propped up as he was just crying into the palm of his right hand. Then the door burst open and conor followed by the boys ran up the stairs and conor slid on the floor to jack as soon as he got to the top of the stairs and he grabbed jacks hand off the ground and oli walked out of jacks room with a bottle in his hand,

“Conor he was drinking!” oli shouted. Conor felt jack squeeze his hand tighter and he squeezed back… he was shaking way more than last time. Both boys were grabbing each other' hands so tightly their knuckles turned white. 

“CALL ANNA!” conor screamed to no one in particular. (anna is 19 in this) once anna arrived about 8 minutes later….

“JACK! CONOR!” her scream echoed through the house she ran upstairs to see jack on the floor sobbing into his elbow squeezing conors hand and shaking viciously. Conor looked up at her and you could tell he had been crying with puffy red eyes and tear stained cheeks. 

“MOVE!” anna yelled and immediately all the boys backed away and conor moved over to his other side and let go of his hand so anna was on his left and grabbed his hand. 

“How long has he been like this!” anna asks and looks around at the boys.

“About 18 minutes.” oli says.

“AND NONE OF YOU IDIOTS THOUGHT TO CALL AN AMBULANCE?!” anna screams. Mikey pulls out his phone and calls an ambulance. 

“Jack…. Its me its your sister… anna…” anna tells him trying to calm him down while they wait for the ambulance . he just starts shaking more and more furiously as time passes. Mikey finds jacks computer…

“Guys Look, jack posted a coming out video…. Wow…” mikey says scrolling to the comments.

“what? “ conor asks. 

“Look at the comments…” mikey reads out some of the comments…. Then after about 2 comments jack starts hyperventilating really badly . After what seems like hours but was only a few short minutes the ambulance arrives and takes jack to the hospital… He ends up being on life support for four days. Anna, conor, joe, josh, oli and mikey all visiting and uploading on jacks channel for him.  Then after 4 days jack woke up.  He felt someone holding his hand. By the tight strong grip he could tell it was conor… sitting in a chair on the either side of him was mikey, who had fallen asleep with his hand wrapped loosly around jacks with his forehead resting on the side of the bed. Jack blinked a few times and looked back over at connor who had his strong firm grip on jacks hand like he always did when he was upset. He saw conor grab his hand with both of his own hands now and lower his forehead onto jack and his hands. He just rested his head there for a moment crying and whispered,  _ I’m so sorry jack i promised i wouldn’t let you ever be hurt again i’m so sorry…. _ Jack slowly slipped his hand from mikeys and put his hand in conors hair and played with his hair and said,

“I know you are..” with a compassionate and gentle smile. Conor lifts his head up to face jack and jack sees his eyes bloodshot and red and puffy from crying and you could see tears pouring down his cheeks. He looked astounded, in complete shock at jack. He jumped up and hugged jack and said in a quiet voice as his voice cracked in the middle of the sentence… “ _ Please don't let this be a dream”…  _

_ “ _ It’s ok con, i’m here… i’m ok..” jack says to conor in a whispering voice.

 “Jack… you’ve been here for 4 days on life support and i couldn’t sleep because whenever i went to sleep i dreamt that you died! and - and-” conor was full on sobbing now and was standing straight up and jack grabbed his hand and pulled him down towards him and hugged him. “Im not dead conor, and i’m always gonna be here for you.” jack said to conor and was rubbing the back of his head trying to calm him down. After a minute conor sat back down and mikey stood up and hugged jack and whispered,  _ Don't ever scare me like that again… _  jack felt mikeys tears drip onto his shoulder and he's never seen mikey cry before. For some reason jack felt safe in mikeys arms. When mikey sat back down jack asked the question he was dreading…

“Where’s  joe?” 


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! WOW! two chapters in like 5 minutes! yea that's because me and Maggie pulled an all nighter and wrote for 9 hours and 13 minute!!! yea and this is what we came up with, the last chapter and this one. sorry this is unedited because my editor fell asleep on me! thanks guys leave suggestions and stuff as always and smile a little, its good for you❤

“Wheres joe?”

“Jack…” conor says…

“Conor! Wheres. Joe.” jack says to conor sternly.

“He's at home. He hasn't been to see you since the first day you went into hospital.” conor sounded mad now. “Mikey and oli moved out, back to their places also.” conor added.

“Oh…” jack said, with tears forming in his eyes. “Umm..” jack swallowed “why?” he said with a little sarcastic chuckle “i- i don't understand?” jack finished.

“Umm.”conor said rubbing his face roughly with his hands. “He said he couldn’t deal with seeing you like this and he left.” conor said in one big sign. That left jack speechless you could see the roller coaster of emotions playing out on his face. He opened his mouth to speak then made a confused face and then laughed a sarcastic laugh then he rubbed his face roughly and then he put his hands in like a praying shape and rested his chin on his thumbs. A tear dripped down jacks face and he shut his eyes for a moment.

“I’ll go get us all a coffee.” conor says and puts his hand on his little brothers shoulder then walked out. Mikey went over and sat on the side of jacks bed facing him. He wipes jacks tears away with his thumb.

“I’m glad your ok J.” mikey says a tear falls down his cheek. He just embarrassingly laughs and wipes it away quickly.

“mikey ….. I’ve never seen you cry before…” jack says and laughs slightly.

“Well……. I’ve never seen you dying before…” mikey said. More tears rolling down his cheeks.

*Jacks Flashback*

In the ambulance all he heard was conor crying and begging him to wake up and its gonna be ok. Then he heard someone elses voice screaming,

"I NEED TO SEE HIM!" the voice screamed. "PLEASE!" he then deliriously saw mikey fall down in the door way with two security guards next to him. Mikey was crying his eyes red and puffy. then he heard someone yell,

“CLEAR!” then a static buzzing sound then…

*end of flashback*

“My heart stopped..” jack said.

“Yeah, your heart was beating so fast that it couldn’t run proper anymore and it stopped.” mikey took a shaky breath in. “anna should be here soon” mikey told jack. “Me and conor told her to rest at home a bit, get a bit of sleep.” Mikey told jack.

“So what time did you get here?” jack asked mikey “around 10 or something?” he asked  mikey.

“Uhhhh…” mikey said “ive actually been here since you got here.”

“Really? You didnt have to do that mikey.” jack said i felt really good knowing mikey was with me.

“Well i wanted to be here and conor had to sleep sometime even if he was up every hour with nightmares.”

“Then when did you sleep?” jack asked.

“Ummm… welllll….” mikey said “that was the first time ive slept since you came here. I fell asleep at 12.” mikey said.

“But its only 12:24 now?” jack said in concern. I should have known, jack thought, mikey had heavy bags under his eyes, his hair was messy and he looked tired.

“Yeah, but im good.” mikey said. Jack knew he wasn't good.

“Well the doctor said you can leave in an hour after a few tests!” conor said walking in. jack smiled back. For another hour they ran some tests and the guys drank some coffee, then it was time to go home. They were out front of the hospital and conor was bringing the car up to the front for them. Jack sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“Whats wrong mate.” mikey says to jack.

“nothing , i just… i don't want to face joe.” jack sighed and looked at mikey.

“You can stay round mine if you like. Your always welcome however long you wanna stay.” mikey said.

“Hmmmmm…” jack said jokingly.

“I just bought a new package of ice lollys too.” mikey added.

“Im in!” jack said. Then conor brought the car round and they got in and jack told conor he’d be staying at mikey's for a bit and asked him to bring him over clothes tomorrow cause as of now, he had a pair of purple checkered pants and no other clothing. He was wearing mikeys leather jacket on there way out. Once they got to mikeys flat

“Thanks again mate for letting me stay here.” jack said again.

“No problem mate, you must be tired, do you wanna watch a tv show or movie on the couch with blankets and pillows or do you want to watch a movie or show in my bedroom?” mikey asked jack.

“Can we just watch it in your bedroom? I really want to be in a proper bed!” jack whined.

“As you wish prince…” mikey said in the same joking accent as on the plane. Jack laughed as the went to mikeys room. Jack took off the leather jacket once they were in mikeys room and put it on a chair in mikeys room and climbed under the blankets and mikey put on a pair of sweatpants and a white t-shirt. They decided on supernatural and about 1 and a half episodes in, jack started shivering under the covers.

“Are you shivering J?” mikey asked jack.

“No im good.” jack answered not looking at mikey because his teeth were chattering. But mikey saw his jaw vibrating a little bit and he put his hand on jacks chin and tilted his face over to him and saw him teeth chattering.

“Your teeth are chattering jack! Why didn't you tell me you were cold! I can get you another blanket!” mikey went to get up.

“I don't want another blanket!” jack whined. “Im fine this always happens, i get cold shiver for a while then i don't feel cold anymore.” jack explains

“Yes jack that's what happens when you let yourself get that cold you get numb to it!” mikey says. “You know what, fine.” mikey says and pulls jack close who was laying on his side facing mikey and wraps his arms around jacks waist and rests his head on top of jacks.

Jack wanted to push him away in annoyance but he didn't. He just felt so safe in mikeys warm arms.

“Ill keep you safe from now on… i promise J.” mikey says as jack nuzzles into Mikey and rests his head in the crook of mikeys neck, with his hand on his chest and the blankets wrapped around them and there legs intertwined. After a whole season of supernatural jack fell asleep and mikey could feel jacks breath, calm and steady against him. He then vowed to himself that he would always protect this boy, this boy who seems so strong and has been the rock for all of them for so long, but is really so small and fragile, and all he wanted to do was protect him from everything. Shortly after jack, mikey fell asleep to.


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! its payton and Maggie and we spent like 3 days writing this super long chapter for you guys! we hope you like it and as always give us feed back on the story and smile a little, its good for you❤

After a few hours of sleep jack had a nightmare… 

People were talking, so, so many people talking. He thought. He realized, he was at his old family home. It doesn't sound bad right? Yea well the thing was, his parents were still alive…

*START OF NIGHTMARE*

Jack, his mom and his dad went to meet a family friend for dinner and jack and their son got a bit tipsy on bourbon during dinner. Jack, thinking he wasn't drunk drove home, his mum was in the passenger's seat and his dad was in the seat behind his mom. A car came out of nowhere and swerved in front of them, hitting the passengers side. The impact flipped the car over. Jack, deliriously climbed out the shattered front windshield and stumbled over to the passenger side, feeling like he was gonna pass out and with his ears ringing he shouted to his mum, then to his dad in the back.

“Dad! Dad!” jack shouted sobbing. “Dad! Its mom she wont get up!” jack shouted to his dad, the ringing in his ears getting worse, his vision fading in and out from black and blurring as time passed. He pulled his mums lifeless body out the car window. 

“Mum…” jack said as his voice cracked, he was holding his mums body, hugging her. He reached in his pocket and grabbed his phone and called conor, his hands shaking rapidly.

“Jack?” conor says.

“Conor you were on the highway, right next to exit 54 you need to get here! Conor please its bad its so bad!” jack is shouting and crying into the phone.

“Jack what happened, i’m on my way!” conor gets in his car and starts driving, putting jack on speaker.

He stood up and walked towards the other car to see who did this. 

“Conor-” jack starts then a man from the other car pointed at jacks side. Jack didn't even realize he was injured because his whole body was numb now. He looked down the see a shard of long and wide glass from the windshield, lodged in his side, and a trail of blood from where he was walking. In reality he had blood dripping down his forehead, a cut down his lip and a deep gash on the end of his right eyebrow. There was blood all over his gray t-shirt and black skinny jeans. Now that he saw the glass, the pain set in and he collapsed and passed out.

*END OF NIGHTMARE*

“JACK!” mikey shouted at him, shaking him. Jack shot up. “Jack you were hyperventilating and shaking, what’s wrong.” mikey said to jack, with his hands on jacks arms. A tear drips down jacks face. And he just stares at mikey. “Come here baby boy…” mikey says wrapping his arms around jack, making him feel safe… he just kept crying then eventually jack spoke up…  

“I…” he buried his face into the crook of mikeys neck. “I had a nightmare, and it was like i was reliving the accident…” jack said crying. 

“Jack you’re perfectly healthy and safe now.” mikey said in a soft voice, while wiping away jacks tears with his thumb.

“Mikey… you don't know the whole story…” jack squeezes him tighter and tells him the story.

“Jack… i’m so so sorry, no one should have to go through that, but it wasn’t your fault, the car swerved in front of you.” mikey said to jack.

“But that’s the thing mikey! I could have swerved out of the way!” jack sat up straight. “Or- or told them to hold on! But I didn't! It’s all my fault! I didn't react in time and the car hit us! It’s my fault they died! It’s all my fault!” jack started bawling and having a mild panic attack.

“Jack,” mikey pulled jack in and hugged him, “Your parents would be so proud of you jack.” mikey said in a soft voice.

“Why? What have i done to make them proud of me? I mess everything up.” jack said in a broken voice that made mikeys heart break. 

“That’s not true jack, after your parents died you were such and amazing older brother to anna and an amazing little brother to conor. You know,” mikey started to tell jack, and he was running a hand through jacks hair. “Conor told me a story about how when you got out of the hospital and stuff, it was 2 days until annas junior prom but she didn't have a date what with her spending most of the time at hospital with you, so you went out and bought her a beautiful pink and red dress and went with her to her junior prom so the other popular girls weren’t mean to her. And how conor didn't want to go to one of his concerts because he didn't think he could do it without your parents there, but you gave him a pep-talk and he went out and froze in the middle of a song that your dad helped him write and you-” jack cut him off

“like an idiot i ran out onto the stage and finished the song, told him he's got this and ran off stage again.” jack laughed, and let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding in.

“Your an amazing brother jack, and there are so many reasons to be proud of you.” Mikey told jack in a soft voice. 

“Mikey, no one’s ever been able to calm me down during a panic attack.” jack hugged mikey tighter. “Thank you…”

*After jack passed out this is what happened during the crash*

“Jack! Jack!” conor screamed into the phone, then made a police report to where jack was. “Dammit!” conor shouts and slams his hands against the steering wheel. When conor got  there he jumped out of the car and saw jack laying on the ground, and ran up to him. “Oh my god!” conor said as he saw the glass in jacks side. He looked around him and he saw their mother lying on the ground. He ran over to her and started crying when he didn't feel a pulse. He crawled over to the car and saw his father inside. He reached his hand in and he felt for a pulse, but there wasn’t one. He thought,  _ Jack!  _  And ran over to him to see if he had a pulse. When he didn't feel a pulse at first he started sobbing harder than he ever has in his whole life… He was crying so hard he could barely breathe, and his chest started to tighten, making it even harder for him to breathe. Then he felt jacks pulse… then it went away for about 20 seconds, then came back. He was still alive but barely. Conor sighed and smirked and hugged him.  _ You were always the fighter brother…  _ he thought as the ambulances and cop car pulled up., once back at the hospital the doctor told conor,

“He's on life support… were not sure how long he will be on it but he has a 10 percent chance of survival…”

*end of crash*

That morning the boys slept in because jack was super tired from being in hospital. Conor walked in the mikeys house and walked to mikeys room and saw jack snuggled up to mikey with his head on his chest and mikeys arm around his waist. He doesn't know why but he smiled. He thought jack needed someone who could be there for him and make him happy, rather than jack being the rock for everyone else. Conor decided to go wait in the kitchen. After about 2 minutes jack woke up and slid out of mikeys arms and went to the kitchen.

“Conor? What are you doing here?” jack said rubbing his eyes which burned slightly. 

Conor spoke, eyes still lingering on his phone, “hey, I came to see how you’re doing and bring you clothes.” conor looks at jack, “whats wrong?” conor stands up because he sees jacks red puffy eyes, because him and mikey just got to bed like 10 minutes ago. 

“Hmmm? Oh nothing i’m fine it’s a long story, here” jack sat down and told conor everything including mikey calming him from the panic attack. 

“Wow… no one’s ever calmed you down before, except… Mom… even I can’t calm you down anymore.” conor said surprised. 

“I know but… i’m happy, like genuinely happy for the first time in a long time.” jack slimes.

“I’m happy for you jack and stay her for a while, then,”  conor says smiling. As mikey gets up and walks to the kitchen jack hugs conor goodbye. 

“When did you get up?” mikey says groggily. 

“Not long ago.” jack said back. 

“Well we need to get ready, i’m taking you somewhere.” mikey says and turns to go get dressed, jack grabs his bag and follows. Jack takes his clothes out of the bag and looks at mikey

“Do i have to ask you or are you gonna be a gentleman? Jack says to mikey.

“Yup, sorry.” mikey turns around and they both got dressed and ready then got into mikeys car and went somewhere at 10:00 pm. They arrived somewhere and mikey made jack close his eyes as he guided him.

“Ok open.” mikey said smiling ear to ear. Jack opened his eyes to reveal a beautiful park with lights strone from tree to tree and hammocks hanging on the trees in some places. Mikey had set up food on a picnic table in the middle of two hammocks, the park was famous and it was called, island meadow.

“Wow… this is so beautiful!” jack says and laughs.

“Its pretty amazing right? My father always took me here as a kid.” mikey looked at jack smiling because of how much fun jack looked like he was having. Jack was standing a few feet away from mikey now, and was kind of spinning around looking at all the lights and things. Then he looked at mikey with the biggest smile and walked over to him. “Are you enjoying the veiw my prince?” mikey says to jack in a accent and puts his arm out in a fanning ,motion. 

“Yes i am good sir!” jack says back to mikey laughing “Thank you very much!” jack says.

“Anything for the prince!” mikey says back in the same accent.

“Seriously though, thank you, for everything. it’s nice to be able to talk to someone about stuff.” jack said. 

Mikey reached out and took jacks hands and laced their fingers. Jack looks down at their hands then looked up at mikey. Mikey felt like he could fall into his beautiful turquoise eyes. 

“Mikey, i-” jack got cut off by mikeys kiss. When mikey broke the kiss jack finished, “wanna be more than friends…”

“Me too…” mikey whispers. “I have one more surprise before we eat. Close your eyes.” mikey said. Jack closed his eyes as he heard mikey walk away.

“Where are you going?” jack shouted laughing.

“One second baby boy!” mikey shouted back laughing. He walked over to a car about 30 feet away.

“Here,” conor handed mikey a picnic basket. And mikey took it and walked back.

“Ready?” mikey said to jack, and then… ARF! Then a dog barks in a high pitched puppy bark.

“Mikey!” jack squeals with his eyes still shut.

“Open.”  mikey says. Jack opens his eyes to see a picnic basket. He opens the lid and out pops a little fluffy saint bernard puppy with an army green ribbon tied around his neck into a bow. He popped out and hung his paws over the edge of the basket.

“Oh my god…” jack whispers and puts his hands over his mouth. “Are you serious?” jack asks mikey looking at him.

“He's all yours…” mikey says smiling at how happy jack is. 

“Hi little guy…” jack whispers and picks the puppy up under its little arms and holds it up to his chest. “What’s his name?” jack whispered to mikey.

“Its up to you, he's only like a month old.” mikey says to jack.

“How about… Ryland… it’s an irish name and it means island meadow.” jack smiled.  They ate their food and then they went home, jack was holding ryland the whole time. When they got home conor had dropped off the dogs cage, which was baby blue with a baby blue little fuzzy rug inside, and his food bowl which said puppy love on it and was baby blue, a baby blue collar, leash, a bag of food and some toys. They set up all rylands things and they let him in the back yard first then put him in his cage for a while.  Mikey walked into the bedroom and sees jack wearing one of mikeys over sized t-shirts. 

“It’s too big on you baby boy, take it off.” mikey says leaning in the door frame.

“Oh, sorry i thought i would just wear one of your shirts because conor didn’t bring me any pajama bottoms.” jack said in embarrassment. Jack starts to take off the shirt but he was having trouble getting it off since it was too long. “Here I’ll help”. Mikey said laughing. He walked over and pulled the shirt off while jack was blushing from not being able to do it. Mikey whispered in jacks ear, “You're so cute baby boy”.They pressed their lips together, and it started out as a soft kiss that lingered. Then it was like something in them switched. Mikey deepened the kiss, both of them trying to be the dominant one, now mikey had jack pressed against the wall with his arms held above his head and jack gave up on being the alpha male since he could no longer move.While they were kissing deeply mikey took off his shirt and pushed jack onto the bed. Mikey was on top of jack holding his wrists down so he still couldn’t move. He moved his lips to jacks neck and started licking and kissing his neck and he started sucking and giving him a couple hickeys then moved his lips to jacks chest. Jack let out a shaky breath followed by a short moan from the intense feeling. Mikey slid his tongue up going back to jacks lips. After that… 

The next morning

Mikey and jack get dressed for breakfast with the other boys. They arrive at the restaurant and sit down with the boys.  conor was on jacks left and across from conor was mikey and next to mickey was oli and next to oli on the end of the table was joe and then josh next to him. The boys were eating their meals then…

“Jack? What’s that!” oli said laughing. “Who’s the lucky person!” oli said pointing at the hickeys. Everyone looked at jack, who was blushing intensely.

“What the hell is that!” conor says and pushes jacks head to the side and pulls his shirt off his shoulder to reveal the hickey. Conor slams his hand on the table and gets up, walking to mikey.

“Mate…” mikey says with his hands up in a surrendering position and moving his head back. 

“I’m not your mate.” conor says and grabs mikey by the collar of his shirt and pulls him outside, all the boys running after him screaming at him to let go of him. Once outside, 

“HOW DARE YOU!” conor yells at mikey.

“Calm down conor!” mikey says backing up a bit, conor moves closer.

“I WON’T CALM DOWN! YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF MY BABY BROTHER WHILE HE WAS VULNERABLE! I TRUSTED YOU! WE WERE BEST MATES!” conor pushed mikey back again, harder this time making mikey stumble a bit. 

“I DIDN'T TAKE ADVANTAGE OF HIM! HE LET ME!” mikey yelled back to conor. That pushed conor over the line, he drew his arm back and he goes to hit mikey but jack runs in front of him and conor hits jack by mistake. Jack stumbled back and fell but oli came over and helped him back up. Jack now had blood dripping from his lip, a cut on his left cheekbone and a bruise on his jawline. Seeing jack bleeding made conor start remembering seeing jack lifeless at the crash. This made him seething with anger now. His baby brother was willing to get hit in the face for this guy who took complete advantage of him. He swung at mikey this time hitting him clear in his jaw. Mikey stumbled back but walked back to conor anyways.

“I don't want to fight you mate.” mikey said to conor.

“To late.” conor says and hits mikey down this time. Mikey gets back up and hits conor, knocking him down right away. After exchanging a few more blows, conor knocks mikey down, then mikey knocks conor down with his leg. After fighting on the ground for a few seconds mikey hits conor right in the side of his head 4 times and he didn't realize how hard he was hitting him and conor ended up hitting his head on the ground and got knocked out. Mikey got caught up in a rage and didn't realize that conor was already down, he hit him again. He then snapped back into reality and felt the boys prying him off of conor and he heard them all screaming at him to stop before he kills him but one voice in particular snaps him out of it. He hears jack screaming.

“MIKEY STOP! PLEASE MIKEY! YOU'RE GONNA KILL HIM!” he heard jack screaming and crying. Not even a few seconds later an ambulance that josh had called arrived. Both boys were taken in an ambulance and one person was allowed to go with them, of course it was jack. In the ambulance conor was laying on a stretcher and mikey was sitting on one. Jack was sitting on a seat next to conors stretcher and gripping conors hand.

“Jack…” mikey said in a whisper voice. 

“Don't mikey.” jack said in a stern voice, still looking down at him and conors hands.

“Jack… please…” mikey said in a sigh.

“No mikey. Don't talk to me.” jack looks up and mikey sees his eyes filled with tears. “I can’t focus on dealing with you right now. You just beat the shit out of my brother and he takes priority over you anyday.” jack says as tears drip down his face. They arrive at the hospital eventually and they get conor in a room and mikey next to him. Mikey was sitting on the bed where as conor was laying down, unconscious on the bed. The doctor told jack that conor was in stable condition for now and that whatever happened they were very lucky because he had minor head trauma and he could have been killed. Jack didn't pay attention to what happened to mikey. Mikey was sitting on the bed after the doctor left and it had been about 2 days now and jack had just been sitting there holding conors hand and then he jumped up out of his seat and pulled out his phone and went into the hallway. All the boys had gone home now and mikey and conor had to stay for a while and jack was staying with conor but he couldn't take being alone with conor looking like that anymore. He was gonna break and he prefered to not have to be alone with mikey. Mikey went to the door to listen to jacks call. 

“Hello?” a voice said on the other end of the phone.

“Hey oli can you get to the hospital?” jack said then sniffled.

“I’m on my way what's wrong?” oli said in a worried tone.

“ Nothings wrong with conor but um…” jack said then chuckled. “Uh, actually never mind… ummm conor’s fine and it doesn't really matter.” jack said into the phone then sniffled.

“Jack i’m already outside what happened are you okay.” oli said in concern.

A few tears slipped down jacks face and he let out a shaky breath. “Yea i’m fine, uhhh… it’s all good.” jack said then he heard the call ending sound and herd, 

“You don't look fine…” oli said and walked down the hallway to where jack was. Jack quickly wiped the tears away, although it didn't help because a few new ones trickled down his face in their place so he turned his face down. Oli walked over to him and lifted jacks chin to look at his face. He saw the tears on jacks face and wiped them away with his thumb.

“Now tell me what’s wrong.” oli said warmly.

“It’s just conor… i mean i know the doctor said he was in stable condition but he also said he is in stable condition, for now and that it could change at any moment and i can’t lose conor oli i can’t if i lose him i have nobody and i just-” jack started bawling and gasping for air and oli pulled him in and hugged him and jack just buried his face in olis chest and cried. 

“I don't know what to do oli…” jack cried into olis chest.

“Don't worry love, it’s all gonna be ok…” oli whispered to jack. Mikey quickly rushed to sit back on the bed. Oli and jack walked into the room and oli sat in a chair next to conors bed and jack sat in a chair next to him. Oli looked over at jack and realized that jack had bags under his eyes and looked really tired.

“Jack, when was the last time you slept or ate or drank anything?” oli asked jack concerned.

“Ummm…. I don't know, i think since conor went into hospital.” jack said back to oli. 

“Why don't we go get you something to eat and drink. We can come right back after.” oli suggests.

“I can’t… i need to stay with him.” jack says looking at oli. Oli again can’t help but notice the bags under jack's eyes, how tired and red his eyes are and the cut on his lip, on his cheekbone and the bruise on his jaw and other cheek bone..

“I’ll be right back.” oli says and goes to get a bottle of powerade from the vending machine. He brings it back to jack. “Here you need to at least drink something.” oli hands jack the powerade. Jack takes about 2 small sips and buts it on a counter next to him. “Jack drink more than two rabbit sips of it.” oli says. Jack picks it up and takes 2 normal sips of the drink.

“Better?” jack says and laughs at oli.

“You will thank me later when you don't get a dehydration headache.” oli says and smiles at jack.

“Thanks.” jack says back smiles a little then yawns.

“Why don't you take a nap for a bit. I’ll stay up with conor.” oli says concern for jack.

“Are you sure?” jack looks at oli as if it’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to him.

“Yea im sure.” oli smiles at jack. Jack rests his head on his hand and falls asleep. While he is asleep oli puts his coat on him as a makeshift blanket and jack's arm falls down and he ends up resting his head on olis shoulder.


	7. chapter seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! thank you so much for 100 hits!!!!!! I'm amazed this story kinda sucked for chapter 2 and 3 but after Maggie (my editor) came on board it got so much better!. I know 100 doesn't seem like a big deal but to us it is!!! it was never meant to turn into a big thing, just a side project but we got really into it snd apparently you guys did to!!! I'm so so so sorry we haven't posted in a while we had some personal stuff going on and today is my birthday so yea. thank you guys again so much and as always, leave suggestions and let me know if your liking this story but commenting about it or giving kudos!!! thanks guys, and smile a little, its good for you❤

When Jack woke up it was dark out and mikey was asleep and oli was up watching conor. Jack shifted and sat up, holding olis jacket so it didn't fall on the floor. “Has he woken yet?” jack asked oli. “Not yet. You were asleep for like 4 and a half hours.” oli said looking at jack sympathetically. “Ok umm… Do you mind if i walk around the halls a bit and like think and stuff?” jack asks. “Go ahead i’ll stay with connor.” oli says. Jack walks down the hall and stands outside for a minute to get some air and then…  BAHM! Someone grabs jack from behind and holds a rag to his mouth and he passes out. Sometime later he woke up in a dark grey stone brick room. He was strapped to a metal chair and in front of him is a big wooden door with a giant metal lock. Then a man walks through the door… “CASPAR?!” jack yelled. “What?! Where the hell am I!” jack started to have a panic attack. “Oh no, are you having a panic attack? We can’t have that now can we?” caspar tilts his head and walks over to jack and holds a cloth over his mouth and jack slowly passes out. Sometime later jack awakes again but this time his shoulders and upper back burned and so did the back of his legs and back of his arms. He deliriously looks up and sees caspar sitting there with a blowtorch. “Helllllloooooo again…” caspar smiles at jack and leans back up from the wall and walks over to him. “You took him from me, and now i'm gonna take EVERYTHING from you!” caspar yells at jack and burns a slash diagonally on his chest. Jack screams in agony. He clenches his jaw and shut his eyes as tight as he could because he didn't want to give him the satisfaction of breaking. “Why are you doing this.” jack mumbled. Caspar laughed at him. “Because silly, you took joe from me.” caspar laughs and sets down the blowtorch on a table with all kinds of knifes. He picks up a small one and walks over to jack, then his phone rings. “Oh, I better take this… Oh hold this for me will ya?” caspar says to jack and then stabs him right above his knee with the knife and leaves it in his leg, walks out and takes hi phone call. Once caspar leaves the room jack bursts into tears. He was crying so hard that he couldn’t even breath and he ended up passing out. He woke to a deep slash across his lower back. Jack screamed. Caspar had moved him and now he was hanging from his wrists so that just the tips of his toes touched the ground. “Wakey wakey…” caspar smirks and slashes another mark on jacks back. Jack whimpered. “Let’s play a little game…” caspar said to jack. “Every question you get wrong, you get slashed or stabbed… first question, why does joe like you better than me?” caspar growled at jack. “Because i'm not a psychopath!” jack snarks back. Caspar shakes his head and smiles, then walks around to be behind jack. “Wrong answer pretty boy.” caspar says then slashes 3 marks on jacks back and jack screamed. “HELP ME! SOMEONE HELP!” jack screamed as loud as he possibly could, then caspar slashed his back again leaving a deep cut on jacks upper back. After about 40 more “questions” jack hand cuts of all sizes and depths all over his back, the backs of his legs and arms, a deep cut along his cheekbone, a cut on his lip, a bruise on his jawline and on his forehead, several small shallow cuts on the front of his arms and legs and now he had no shirt on and he had a deep gash from the top of his right peck to the bottom of his left peck. “I didn't do anything…” jack cried. “That’s where you’re wrong.” the last thing jack saw before passing out was caspars evil grin.         

 

 

Meanwhile…

 

 

The boys received a letter saying    that jack had been kidnapped and a trail of clues were left to find him. They had 1 clue left and we're almost there.        

 

 

  Back to Jack…

 

 

“Please let me go! I won’t tell anyone!” jack begged and cried. “I know you won't, because you’re never getting out of here…” caspar said evilly. “I'm gonna go grab a new toy…” He said and walked out of the door shutting it behind him . Caspar had been tracing over the cuts on jacks face and  his chest and creating new ons on his back and arms and legs. Caspar was standing at a little metal table with all kinds of different knifes and a blowtorches on it. He set down the knife he had in his hand which was the biggest knife and covered in blood. After he set the knife down he heard a voice from the spiral staircase that let them down there. “Don't move!” Conor yelled, pointing a gun at caspar. (he had a gun in a lockbox for protection in his house). “Wow… the scooby gang finally arrived.” caspar said and turned to face them. “What?” joe said his eyes filling with tears. “Joe stay on task.” oli yelled at him, flustered that jack was being hurt. Conor tilted his head motioning oli to go in the door. Oli walked down the steps almost to the bottom and caspar stepped in front of the sound proof door and said, “You’re not going in there.” and conor shot the gun at the wall next to caspars head and said. “Go ahead oli.” conor said. Oli opened the door after caspar moved out of the way and they all walked in, conor never taking his eyes of caspar. Oli walked over to jack who was hanging from the ceiling only his toes touching the ground and he had his eyes shut tight and was crying. Oli put his hand on the side of jacks face. “Get away from me!” jack cried and turned his head. “Please stop!” jack cried. “Jack it’s me! it’s oli!” oli said and jack looked up and saw him. “How do we get him down?” conor yelled at casper and casper pointed to a chain that was wrapped around jacks hands and strung and tied to the wall behind him. “Joe pull that.” conor said sternly. And joe did as he was told, then jack dropped and oli caught him and picked him up bridal style and jack inhaled sharply because of all the cuts on him. “Sorry.” oli said to jack. “It’s fine just get me out of this hell” jack replied and wrapped his arms around olis neck. They put jack in the car and rushed him to the hospital, with joe in his car and caspar tied up in the backseat. Once jack was at the hospital they ran in. “Help! We need help!” conor screamed and nurses rushed over with a gurney and oli set jack down on it and olis arms were now covered in blood and oli went with jack and the nurses to explain what happened and joe burst through the doors with caspar now. “Is there any police officers here!” conor yelled and  about 4 police officers rushed over and conor and joe filled them in on caspar from the day he faked his own death, to now. The police took him into custody and joe and conor went to find oli and jack. Once they found the right room they went in and oli was sitting in a chair ad jack was asleep in the bed. “What happened?” conor asked oli. “The nurses treated all of his cuts and then he fell asleep. The nurses said there should most likely be a scar on his back from one of the cuts but no other permanent damage.” oli said to conor. “We should have gotten to him sooner… he was there for 4 days oli… 4 days…” conor said. “We did what we could, now we wait for him to wake up. But conor you should head back to the house and get some sleep you to joe i’ll stay with jack.” oli said and the boys obeyed and left. About 2 hours later jack woke up. “Oli?” jack said confused. “Jack you’re up.” oli straightened up. Jack sat up and inhaled sharply because of all the cuts on his back. “Jack lay down.” oli said. “No i'm fine.” jack said and pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his face in his arms. oli realized jack was shaking “Jack…” oli said and put his hand on jacks back. “Jack are you ok?..” oli asked jack. Jack turned his head sideways, resting the side of his face on his arms. “No…” jack said shakily. Oli wrapped jack up in a hug. Jack wrapped his arms around olis neck. “The things casper said to me while I was there… the things he did to me…” jack  mumbled into olis chest and started to shake more. “Jack, he's insane, he faked his own death and tried to kill you. Whatever he says is a lie. Your ok now” oli tries to calm jack and rubbed the back of his head. “But that’s the thing, it is true.” jack cried “What did he say to you.” oli said to jack a Bit sternly. “He told me that I killed my mom. And I did! It was my fault they  died!” jack shouts into olis chest. “Jack, listen to me.” oli moves jacks face to look at him. “You did not kill anyone. It was an accident. He's a murderer jack your a good person.” oli said then pulled jack back into a hug. About a half an hour later jack fell asleep and then conor arrived. “What happened!” conor asked when he saw jacks eyes all red and puffy. “Stay with jack, i'm going to see caspar.” oli said to conor sternly. “What! Why?!” conor said in shock. “Because i'm gonna kill that bastard.” oli walks out and heads to the police station and exchanges some heated words with caspar them leaves in a huff and goes to his apartment to be alone. A few days later jack gets released. Once he gets home conor and oli and josh and joe pampered him for like 3 weeks. Jack, now is better and has been able to get back to normal. Mikey was really drunk and decided to go to see what the boys were doing, then once he arrived, jack answered the door. “Hey are the boys here?” mikey asked awkwardly. “Uhh, no they all went out…” jack said. “Well uh… bye.” jack went to shut the door but mikey stuck his foot in the door frame. “No wait, do you wanna hangout?” mikey asked jack. “Uhh, no not really.” jack said clearly annoyed then went to shut the door again, but mikey pushed it back open and walked in. “Uh, what are you doing?” jack said backing away. “Well what if we do something else?” mikey said still walking towards jack. “You’re drunk mikey.” Jack backed away. Mikey laughed with an evil smile, “what are you going to do about it baby boy? I’m stronger than you remember?” mikey said pushing jack up against the wall. He held jacks wrists next to his head. “Stop mikey, i don’t want to.” jack said trying to be tough. Mikey chuckled and whispered in jacks ear, “ You know you can’t lie to me baby boy, i know you like it. Plus you only blush when you like it.”mikey said teasingly.  Jacks voice cracked, “ n-no i don’t.” He said. “You’re so cute jack.”mikey then pressed his lips against jacks. “Do i need to prove it?” mikey said. He moved his lips to jacks neck. Unintentionally jack closed his eyes and his breathing got heavier.  Mikey smirked, “what did i tell you?” Jack opened his eyes “STOP!” Tears rolled down jacks cheeks then-“WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING!” oli storms in and rips mikey off jack. “Jack go out to my car and wait there.” oli says to jack and hands him the keys. “Oli i was just joking around mate no need to get mad.” mikey says. “JUST JOKING?! HE WAS SCARED!” oli screams at mikey. “Yea well maybe he deserves it!” mikey yelled back at oli. Oli had enough and he punched mikey clean in the jaw and mikey dropped to the ground. “Now get the hell out of here before i do worse than punch you.” oli growls. he storms outside and walks to his car and sees jack sitting in the passenger's seat shaking. Oli walks over to the car and he opens the car door and jack jumps and looks at oli. Jacks eyes start to tear up and he puts his face in his hands and turns his face rubbing it roughly on his hands to prevent oli from seeing his face. Oli turns jacks face towards him when he sees jacks body start to shake more and sees tear falling down jacks face. “Jack…” oli said softly. “Don't tell conor…” jack whimpered. “But jack-” oli started. “Don't tell conor!” jack raises his voice at oli and starts shaking more. “Shhh… jack i won't tell conor.” oli shushes him while rubbing his arms. Jack looks at him with a untrusting look. “I won't tell him i promise.” oli says again, jacks gaze softening.  “Why don't you want him to know jack? He's your brother and he cares about you.” oli says, his heart breaking for this boy whos been through so much hell. “Because! I'm a baby! I cant even be left home alone for a few hours without causing trouble!”  Jack started to cry harder. “I drag c-conor down a-nd his music career and anna has had to g-grow up with a fucked up brother for almost her whole life! A-a-nd its my fault this all happened! Everything is my fault! A-a-nd i-i-” oli cut jack off and hugged him tightly and pet his hair. “jack , shhhhhh, none of this is your fault. Your an amazing person and anyone would be lucky to have you.” oli shushed. “I won't let anyone ever hurt you again.” oli told jack softly but stern.


	8. UPDATE

Hey guys, it's Maggie. Paytons computer isn't working so we can't post tonight. But we will have a new chapter up saturday at 6:00 pm EST, or before. Again we're really sorry but we'll make it long like always for you guys! Thanks, and smile a little it's good for you❤


	9. UPDATE AGAIN

Hey guys its Payton and were so so sorry but Maggie had to leave for vacation with her family early and we couldn't write. She will be back in a week so we will post a chapter then. Maybe even 2! Again I'm so so sorry guys we will be posting as soon as possible! Thanks guys and smile a little its good for you❤


	10. UPDATE AGAIN, AGAIN

Hey guys its payton just letting you know Maggie isn't back yet hopefully she will be soon and we will keep you updated as to when she will be returning. I just wanted to let you know that we are NOT abandoning this story we will most defiantly be continuing with it. If anyone has questions feel free to message us about it and leave some comments or kudos and let us know if your liking the story because it doesn't seem many people of so idk but thanks guys and smile a little its good for you❤


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